February 2012
28 posts
4 tags
Charlie and Zoey
CHARLIE
…it’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am. I’m Charlie Young.
ZOEY
Hi.
JOSH
Okay, hang on a second. Let’s take it back a moment and give it another
chance.
This is a girl, Charlie. You don’t have to call her ‘ma’am.’
CHARLIE
I beg your pardon. Did I call you…
ZOEY
Zoey.
CHARLIE
I should call you Zoey?
ZOEY
[smiles] If I can...
January 2012
31 posts
5 tags
These Women
BARTLET
Look at this, will you?
JOSH
At what sir?
BARTLET
I don’t know why, but nothing makes me feel quite so good as the sight of colleagues, enjoying each other outside work.
JOSH
So, what were you guys talking about?
BARTLET
We were talking about these women.
JOSH
Yeah?
LEO
We can’t get over these women.
BARTLET
Look at...
Think you have to be crazy to create something...
Footnote - ed.
3 tags
A Chili Reception
The senior staff walk in.
BARTLET
Everyone! Come in. Come on in.
BARTLET
Hey, listen up everybody. Zoey’s down from
Hanover.
I’m making chili for everyone tonight.
SENIOR STAFF
[very weak and uninterested] Great. Okay. Chili.
BARTLET
[looks at Leo then to his staff]
All right…You know what? Let’s do this.
Everybody look down at the big seal in the...
4 tags
Sam and the UFOs
CUT TO: INT. SAM’S OFFICE - DAY
Sam just came in to his office. He sees a nerdy BOB ENGLER sitting in a chair beside the door.
SAM
So, you are from the United States Space Command?
BOB
Not a lot of people know about us.
SAM
This is my first time.
BOB
We’re a little nerdy, I’ll admit.
SAM
You camouflage it well with your clothing.
BOB
I’m used to that,...
4 tags
This is a Stick Up
MANDY
Yeah, so Mr. President, if you could further see clear to not answer that
question like an economics professor with a big old stick up his butt, that would be
good too.
BARTLET
I AM an economics professor with a big old stick up my butt, but I’ll do my best for
you there, Mandy.
MANDY
Thank you, sir.
12 tags
"Big Block of Cheese" Day
Some of the White House Staffers giggle lightly.
LEO
I am making a mental list of those who are snickering, and even as I speak
I’m
preparing appropriate retribution. [beat] The block of cheese was huge—over
two
tons. And it was there for any and all who might be hungry.
TOBY
Leo, wouldn’t this time be better spent plotting a war...
4 tags
Let the poets write about that there, Byron
s01e05: ‘The Crackpots and These Women’
5 tags
Dryly
SAM
[to Toby] So, how do you feel there, big guy?
TOBY
[dryly] Like I just got screwed with my pants on.
SAM
Excellent.
3 tags
The One Where Jed Took Two Kinds Of Pain...
Before I go, please let me just say this:
[sighs]
I’m seriously thinking about getting a dog.
3 tags
"There's literally no one in the world that I...
Everyone, except Toby, laughs.
3 tags
Do you have a band gazebo?
KATZENMOYER
I’m in your own party!
JOSH
Doesn’t seem to be doing us much good now, does it?
KATZENMOYER
It’s an incumbent Democrat. You’ll go to the press and endorse a challenger?
JOSH
No sir. We’re going to do it in person. See, you won with fifty-two percent,
but the
President took your district with fifty-nine. And I think it’s high time we
come...
7 tags
The Walk and Talk
CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - DAY
Josh and Sam are leaving the Oval Office. They pass Mrs. Landingham.
JOSH
So what’s the range of what we’re talking about?
MRS. LANDINGHAM
Congratulations, Josh.
JOSH
Thanks, Mrs. Landingham.
SAM
What’s she congratulating you on?
JOSH
I don’t know.
They walk out to the HALLWAY.
SAM
What’s the range?
...
5 tags
The D section
BARTLET
Toby!
TOBY
Sir.
BARTLET
What’d you think?
TOBY
I thought my work was outstanding, Mr. President.
BARTLET
I thought you would.
TOBY
Thanks for asking.
[pause]
Couldn’t help but notice you got a little extemporaneous there in the D section.
BARTLET
Oh, you noticed that, did you?
TOBY
Yes sir, I did.
BARTLET
Yes. I did a little polish right up there on my...
3 tags
I'm so sick of Congress I could vomit
WICK
I’ve been here over a year. Huh. Where’s the courtship? This isn’t ego.
A relationship with the White House is currency around here and I need some.
JOSH
You’re voting down a measure that would restrict the sale of deadly weapons
because
nobody invited you to the cool kid’s table?
WICK
Got your attention.
JOSH
You know, I’m so sick of...
4 tags
Unhappy Marriage
SAM
‘Happy Days Are Here Again’?
MANDY
He likes it.
SAM
Who?
MANDY
The President.
SAM
We try and avoid having the President make aesthetic decisions.
MANDY
I made the decision.
SAM
Right. And I don’t mean to step on your toes, but you might want to rethink
marrying the lines ‘Kids are dead. Kids are dead!’ and ‘Happy Days Are Here Again.’
...
4 tags
A Proportional Response
FITZWALLACE
Yes, sir. Mr. President we put together a scenario by which we attack Hassan
airport, its three main terminals and two runways.
In addition to the civilian causalities, which could register in the thousands, the strike would temporally cripple the region’s ability to receive medical supplies and bottled water.
I think Mr. Cashmen and Secretary Hutchinson would...
5 tags
Leo and Fitzwallace talk about Charlie
LEO
…Uh, hey Fitz?
FITZWALLACE
Yeah?
LEO
The President’s personal aide, they’re looking at a kid. Do you have any
problem
with a young black man waiting on the President?
FITZWALLACE
I’m an old black man and I wait on the President.
LEO
The kid’s gotta carry his bags…
FITZWALLACE
You gonna pay him a decent wage?
LEO
Yeah.
FITZWALLACE
You...
5 tags
Josh and Leo talk about Charlie
JOSH
Hey Leo, can I ask you a question?
LEO
What?
JOSH
I’m interviewing this kid for Ted Miller’s job, and he’s a real special
kid. He’s
applied himself in school, I’m sure he’d be articulate if he wasn’t
terrified. He’s
postponing college until his sister gets out of high school.
LEO
Where are the parents?
JOSH
Father’s long gone....
4 tags
Josh interviews Charlie
CHARLIE
Uh, sir, I’m sorry but I think there’s been some sort of mistake.
JOSH
Really?
CHARLIE
See, I came here, I filled out an application form…
JOSH
Yeah, I have your paperwork.
CHARLIE
Right, see, I came here, I was looking for a job as a messenger and I had an
interview with Miss DiLaguardia and she told me to wait.
JOSH
Yes.
CHARLIE
And then she told me to...
